Day 20: Rosa goes to Mardi Gras 2010 (part 1)

I never 'do drag'! I don't feel comfortable dressing in women’s clothes because... I learned from an early age that being feminine or gay and feminine was not acceptable in a hetero sexual society, even today in male gay circles it is often frowned upon.
Doing drag has therefore become a big deal for me, conditioned out of me to such an extent that I feel I can't do it even if I wished to. Going in drag feels like a bad dream in which you suddenly realise you are not wearing any clothes in public!

So I gave myself the challenge to 'do' drag. First in a semi-private and 'safe' environment at the dress-up Christmas party at work, I took on 'Rosa', a cleaning lady as my character. I was nervous beyond belief. Afterwards I realised how liberating it was, but not liberating enough. It was only a first step in claiming back the power that I had lost by being fearful in many homophobic situations throughout my life.

With this first challenge completed it was time to take the next step: taking part in drag, in public, in the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade in Sydney, Australia AND fly there... in drag.

Thank God Air NZ put on a Pink Flight from Auckland to Sydney, not much of a challenge you may think, but... internal fear was still overwhelming. I made a doll, mini Rosa, as a 'stand-in' for Rosa on the domestic flight from Wellington to Auckland as I expected it to be an ordinary flight. Taking a dressed-up doll through check-in and on a 'normal flight' was in itself a challenge. Feel the fear and do it anyway I reminded myself again and again. I filmed the trip myself, producing plenty of shaky footage, but it is the proof that I did it. I am done now with the challenge, no longer carry the fear, I have claimed back the power I lost and feel soooo much better and stronger for it.

Part 2 featuring Rosa and Mini Rosa walking in the Parade and interacting with a 300.000 strong audience, clowning around as a cleaning lady removing 99.9% of all historical homophobia, in the crowd and of course myself will follow.

Big thanks to Air New Zealand for creating the Pink Flight with all its trimmings, and special thanks for the drag queens who escorted the passengers, you were my guardian angels. You were all fabulous! XXX.

Day 19: heard my favorite music, live in Wellington.

Delighted to discover that there is a band playing my favorite music right here in Wellington. Looing forward to work with them, yay!

Day 18: New Buddha Statue

I am not religeous, but I do like Buddhism a lot, as a phylosophy and I love Buddha statues. I recently bought this one for my outdoor space, it is rather large, the size I had been looking for for a long time. It was intended as an ornament and as a reminder of wonderful times spent among Tibetans, Tibetan monks and their monasteries. Someone once said to me, where ever there is an image of Buddha, Buddha energy will be present. Kind of odd as apparently Buddha never wanted any imagery of himself made for worship purposes. The first images that represented Buddha were symbols. Human shaped Buddha's came much later and probably Buddha looked nothing like that at all.

Yet, since I have this statue facing my cottage, I feel much better, a kind of peace that subtly seems to radiate from the statue. It is not a precious statue at all, just a lump of mortar shaped by a mould. It has not been blessed in any way, yet I feel it very different than the other statue besides it. I am really happy with this Buddha statue, surprisingly so. Maybe it is all in my amagination, but hey, my imagination is as much part of me as any other part. Maybe the mystery will reveal itself one day, in the mean time I will enjoy its presence. The landlord's dog Piper seems to agree and happily settle in front.

Day 17: Sinterklaas tradition

Every year, Sint Nicolaas (Saint Nicolas) also called Sinterklaas, arrives in Holland mid November to celebrate his birthday (eve) on the 5th December. Traditionally he arrives by steamboat from Spain, where he normally lives. He is accompanied by zillions of Zwarte Pieten or "Black Peters", who are his assistants. They are a cross between a boogie man and a clown, scaring the kids as well as entertaining them. He rides on a white horse on rooftops, drops presents through the chimneys and may visit you on the 5th December. Gifting is done with lots of fun, anonymously. Gift can be disguised, can be jokes, can be used to hackle someone etc. Gifts are often accompanied with poems/ stories in rhyme form. There are many secular songs related to this folk fest that became the inspiration for Christmas and Santa in many other cultures. He is a clip from the official arrival of Sinterklaas in the harbour of Schiedam.

There are not many traditions left in contemporary Holland, but this one seems to survive the ages where Christmas is merely a religious festival. These days gifting happens at Christmas time as well, but it can’t compete with the original Sinterklaas celebrations.

Day 16: lesson in trust

Just as I am trying to convince myself that going to Sydney for a long weekend to film at Mardi Gras 2010 is an extravagance I cannot afford, unexpected money is coming in to proof me wrong.

Day 15: Guy Fawkes

Silly man, tried to blow up the British Parliament a looong time ago. What that's got to do with New Zealand I don't know, but I enjoyed the traditional fireworks nevertheless, the smell, the vibrating thunder, the spectacle of light... It's is a childhood thing, New Year's Eve is my birthday and the New year is heralded in with lots of fireworks in Holland, brings back happy memories.


The strangest picture I have ever taken of fireworks.

Day 14: when work is play

I have been quite busy lately, trying as best as I can to balance work, life, developing my house design and making a film. An increased workload became enjoyable last week, eventhough I was working on a Sunday. I was asked to make art on camera for a DVD production for the school where I work. I created 2 large mixed media works on paper, mainly a collage of mono prints about the theme of pilgrimage. These two relating to a tall tower (about 100m) in my place of birth; Amersfoort, which used to be a pplace of pilgrimage. 2 details on one panel and 1 shot of the entire second panel 0.8x2.4m